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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28398504">but they don't really know me now yeah, this shit is real life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/juricii/pseuds/juricii'>juricii</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forgiveness, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, learning to forgive, talks of suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:53:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28398504</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/juricii/pseuds/juricii</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy wakes up, and Wilbur has a lot to say to him--mostly apologies and a promise to fix everything between the two. And with that, Tommy tries to make amends with those that unknowingly hurt him.<br/>--<br/>Sequel to "i think i've lost my mind blurring the fact and the fiction"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Eret &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>256</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>but they don't really know me now yeah, this shit is real life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sequel to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27851666">i think i've lost my mind blurring the fact and the fiction</a> | Song is from Logic's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0N-oEeITzo">State of Emergency ft. 2 Chainz</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>i. wilbur</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur sat at the edge of the hospital bed, head laid to rest on the bed sheets as he tightly held the younger boy’s hands in his, with labored breaths. He cried, and wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>afraid</span>
  </em>
  <span>. How could something like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>happen to such an amazing child? Admittedly, he knew part of the reason </span>
  <em>
    <span>it </span>
  </em>
  <span>happened was because of him, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>meant for it to occur. He was just joking around, and really, if Tommy ever did ask him to stop, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would’ve</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He enjoys making jokes, but not when they genuinely hurt other people. His bloodshot eyes weren’t a good sight for anyone currently sitting in the same room as him. It’s not like they had room to judge though. All the people were also drowning in guilt and pain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was never supposed to turn out like this. Then a twitch came from the boy’s hand, and Wilbur’s head shot up immediately. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He whispered out. A groan came from said teen, and the blond slowly woke up, eyes blinking rapidly. He was immensely confused. He thought he was…</span>
  <em>
    <span>ya’ know… dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He recognized the chestnut-colored hair adult in front of his eyes though.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wilbur..? Where am I?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He murmured out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur dropped eye contact with him. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>The hospital…</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He mumbled back to the younger.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy didn’t say anything, but simply nodded in acknowledgement. Then, Wilbur suddenly spoke up once again. “I’m sorry.” The look in Tommy’s eyes softened.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. Not gonna lie, some of the things you did and said </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>hurt, but I know it wasn’t from malicious intent, so it’s all cool.” Tommy casually responded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur sniffled. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>But it’s not! We did this to you,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He shouted, arms waving in various directions, with the others in the room awkwardly nodding in agreement.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy rolled his eyes. “It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’ll be a few months, and then I’ll be back to “normal” or whatever.” He shrugged off the fact that he had resorted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>suicide </span>
  </em>
  <span>a few weeks ago, which seemed to not sit well with the older boy. Tommy seemed to catch onto his body language.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, Big Man. Here’s what I’ll do. I won’t forgive you right now, but rather, I’ll talk everything out with the others, and then decide what to do from there, alright?” He dealt his hands.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And although Wilbur wanted to retort back, he knew that Tommy wouldn’t agree, because he was too kind and forgiving for his own good, so he just nodded. The others in the room seemed to get the memo, and they quietly left the room, leaving the two non-biological brothers alone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>God</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m so sorry for </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Toms… I never wanted this to happen,” Wilbur weeped. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m so fucking sorry you had to resort to </span>
  </em>
  <span>this</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>sorry that you felt as if you couldn’t go to one of us to talk about how you were feeling.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy sighed and shook his head. “It’s alright. I just have a tendency to overthink everything, and because of it, all this happened. I know you had no malicious intent, so yeah…” Tommy only got more tears in response.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“<em>Wil…</em> You should calm yourself down--go to the bathroom and wash your face, alright? Tears don’t suit you. I’ll be alright, okay?” Wilbur just looked up and nodded, and immediately left the room, and shortly after, Phil came walking through the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>ii. phil</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hiya there, Tommy… How are you doing?” Phil softly spoke. Tommy just gave him a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, gotta say… My arm feels kinda numb, which is not very pogchamp, I gotta be real here, Mr. Married Man.” He responds jokingly. Phil snorted back in response, and Tommy feels good that he was able to make the older man smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyways, what’s eating at you, big man?” He asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Phil pulls the boy into a tight hug, and gives him a small “</span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry if you ever felt neglected by me. I tend to go with the flow quite a bit, and I’m sorry if that made you feel sad…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy snorts from the crook of the older’s neck where his head is currently residing. “It’s okay. I get that sometimes I’m a little overwhelming for people, and they need a break once in a while.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Phil softly detached himself from the blond. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>No. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You’re amazing just the way you are, and frankly, you always make a great atmosphere wherever you go, so never change, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He pleads with the younger.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy just lets out a hearty laugh. “Okay, whatever you say, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Phil is still not confident. He is not confident that he has fixed the crevice that was created between them, but nonetheless, it’s a start. So with soft steps, he saunters out the room, feeling just a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little bit </span>
  </em>
  <span>less burdened.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>iii. techno</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Techno is the next person to arrive, but no words are exchanged. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Words do not </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>need </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>to be exchanged, more accurately</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The older of the two hugs Tommy tightly, and pets his hair, something that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>rarely </span>
  </em>
  <span>engages in. Tommy craves the physical contact, and leans into the affection. Technoblade starts reciting a poem, however, and oddly enough it conveys enough emotion for Tommy to realize that he's sorry, and he’ll be working on his emotions.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Frankly, that’s enough for Tommy, so when they part, he gives the English Major a soft smile, whom of which reciprocates it, and sends one back. He silently leaves the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>iv. tubbo</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Tubbo and Tommy talk about their sides of the story, Tubbo somewhere in the middle starts sobbing, also .He lets out broken apologies of, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>”,”</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’ll always be my Number One</span>
  </em>
  <span>” and all that jazz. Tommy pats his best friend’s head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not angry at Tubbo for wanting to be Ranboo’s friend--he one-hundred percent understands why. Nor was he really ever angry. He figures he was just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>jealous</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and when he says this outloud, Tubbo hugs him too, saying that he never meant to hurt him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy knows. He knows Tubbo is not that type of person, so he just helps calm the boy down and smiles brightly at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>v. eret</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eret doesn’t know how to apologize. Or rather, he doesn’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>what </span>
  </em>
  <span>to say. He’s very much aware that he was a complete </span>
  <em>
    <span>asshole </span>
  </em>
  <span>when he dismissed the boy’s concerns relating to his sexuality. Although Tommy doesn’t care too much, and eventually decides that he just simply hasn’t found the right person, Eret cares </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What if the boy </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>come out as Asexual, but he ended up as one of the reasons the boy had an identity crisis and felt unwilling to talk about it with him, or anyone else he considered “</span>
  <em>
    <span>close</span>
  </em>
  <span>” to him?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eret would never forgive himself for that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He apologizes profusely, and tells Tommy that he’ll do anything for his forgiveness. The boy just laughs. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>No worries, Eret. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You probably thought I was joking around, so yeet.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>vi. dream</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dream felt incredibly bad. He looks back on his actions, and realized all the things he did wrong, that most likely led to what Tommy did. He shoves his face into his hands while he’s talking to the teen. He proceeds to insist that he cares for Tommy, and that he never meant to seem ill-intended towards the boy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy knows this. Dream has been in the same position as him before, and forgiveness towards Dream, comes oddly easily. Dream pinky-promises him, that he’ll never do anything over-the-top again, and that, if he needs a favor, he’ll always be there for the boy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy smiles.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>vii. sapnap</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sapnap never really experienced something like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>before. He’d always been one to make jokes, sometimes one that bordered the line between satirical and offensive, but he never thought it might lead anyone to suicide.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But it seemed to have this time around, and Sapnap had his regrets.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gripped the boy’s hands and let everything out. He talked about his regrets and how bad he felt after he got the news that Tommy was hospitalized.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy responded back with a simple, “It’s alright, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nick</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With that, Sapnap vows to protect the boy from the harshness of the world from then on, and he’ll go to the ends of the world with him, if needed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>viii. schlatt</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Schlatt knew that not everyone liked him, but that was okay with him. People had their opinions, and he respected that. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Besides</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his whole internet persona was </span>
  <em>
    <span>meant </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be slightly offensive and very much dark and sarcastic.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But, when he got the text that the boy he saw as his protege, was hospitalized, for </span>
  <em>
    <span>attempted suicide</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his heart broke, which was uncharacteristic for Schlatt, mind you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t think he could bear being hated by such a wonderful and energetic kid.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So, when the boy just shook his head and said it was okay, he promised that he’d fight heaven and hell if it meant making sure that Tommy was happy. (</span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe he’d even threaten a few people with his gun, but, no one needed to know about that…</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>chorus</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy was happy. More happy than he’d ever been. He was surrounded by people he loved, and they cared for, and cherished him back. And although Tommy had his bad days, where he would go back into the negative mindset and self-deprecating moods, there was always someone to help him get back on his feet, and he was forever thankful for it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s so glad he became a Youtuber, and met these amazing people.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>because so many of y'all requested for a second part :)<br/>---<br/>♡ Iɴsᴛᴀ: ᴄʜɪᴛᴛᴀʙʀʀ<br/>♡ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴛᴇʀ: ᴊᴜᴡᴜɴʜʏᴜᴋ<br/>♡ sᴄ: ᴊᴀɴᴇᴇᴢ.ᴊᴀʀᴇᴀᴜ<br/>♡ ᴋᴀᴋᴀᴏ: ʏᴇᴏʟsᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ<br/>♡ 𝚃𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛: 𝚃𝚘𝚍𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚘<br/>---<br/>p.s join the Writer's Block Discord!!!</p>
<p>https://discord.gg/w9CwSK26mm</p></blockquote></div></div>
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